* There is nothing left anymore to learn the hard way.

* Jokes About Aging Things that you buy now won't wear out.

* Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

* You no longer think of the speed limit as a challenge.

* Your investment in health insurance is finally paying off.

* You can quit trying to hold in your stomach no matter who walks into the room.

* Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them anyway.

* You can sing along with elevator music.

* Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the guy on the television.

* Your eyes won't get too much worse.

* Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

* People call you at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you???? "

* You can get into a heated argument about pension plans.

* You can eat dinner at 4:00 in the afternoon.

* In a hostage situation you are the most likely to be released first.

* No one expects you to run -- anywhere. You are no longer viewed as a hypochondriac.

* You are no longer viewed as a hypochondriac.